The Diary of Possession
by Vivi
Summary: The world has changed for Phoebe Halliwell and her sisters, in a very unlikely way. Evil has spread and corrupted the lives of witches and mortals alike. . .and Phoebe has just become the personal slave for, who else? Cole Turner...
1. Default Chapter

The Diary of Possession.

  
  


Summary: P/C Song AU FF. 

The world has changed for Phoebe and her sisters, in an unlikely way. Evil has spread and corrupted the lives of witches and mortals alike. And Phoebe has become the 'personal' slave for, who else? Cole Turner. [Cole still has all those crazy powers that he collected from the demonic wasteland, since I'm basing some of it right before he was killed off.] Good witches are now commonly becoming the slaves of demons, and other evil do'ers. Phoebe's sister have considered themselves lucky for not being imprisoned. As for Phoebe, they try to help save her from her captivity, but it won't be up to them to decide the fate of their sister. It will be up to Phoebe to find it in herself to break free of her bondage, but not just from slavery, but from Cole.

  


A/N: Another one of my song fanfic's focused of course on Phoebe and Cole. Yes, I know he's dead an all. But he'll _never_ be dead in my mind. :P Read/Review. Flame me, hate me, love me, whatever. 

  


Disclaimer: I don't own Charmed, and none of these characters, unless it's someone that obviously never appeared in an episode of Charmed. Or you never heard the name of. Charmed belongs to Aaron Spelling and The WB network. Therefore, I own nothing. :P I am just another fanatic, who has way too much time on their hands. So, please, don't sue. :]

  


Song: "Haunted" by Evanescence.

  


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First Entry

  


He has allowed me little solace in my own mind. So I write my thoughts down on these pieces of paper bound into a fine looking maroon color diary.

He gave me this diary, "out of the goodness of his heart." Hah. You're probably the only companion I will have, ever. He will not release me from this bondage and I have no idea to why _I_ cannot free myself.

Is it because apart of me, somewhere inside me, this tiny part of me is too afraid to leave his side? To leave him to this dark, gloomy life? A life without love nor light, or me in it?

I cannot finish now. He is coming for me. _They're_ coming for me. Those frickin mindless min— 

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Second Entry

  


I had meant to say minions. But those frickin dumb heads pulled me out of my cell, before I could finish. 

Let me tell you about yesterday. When that frickin bonehead pulled me out of this prison of mine. Shackled me of course and my ankles too. Usually I have to act like a damn penguin and waddle my way to _him_. The bonehead kept pushing and shoving me along ahead. I've already gotten so used to their mindless acts of cruelty I just ignore them, cursing silently that I didn't get to vanquish _their_ sorry asses. Lucky bastards!

My clothes consist of what looked like it belonged to a hobo. I wear long dirty ass pants. Too long if I may add. And a shirt, if that's what you would call it, that has rips and tears everywhere. Everywhere that it usually slips down one shoulder of mine. I think _he_ takes pleasure in my ragged appearance. The bastard.

Once we reached the door of my captor, never 'master.' I'd refused from the first day of my servitude. No captivity, bondage that I would _never_ call him master.

I'm not like those frickin fools outside that take simple pleasure in actually _pleasing_ their so-called 'master' by acting like they couldn't fend for themselves. They're pathetic.

The fool pushed me inside and slammed the door behind me. What was I? An animal? I peered inside the dimly lit room. My eyes had to adjust to the lights, so I had to blink a couple of times. It wasn't the first time that I had been in his room. It probably wouldn't be the last either.

The room is decorated with candles everywhere. No electricity except outside of that room. There is a dark wooden closet, big enough to stuff two people. A bed with maroon satin covers and big fluffy pillows that just say, 'sleep on me!' My eyes scanned the area quickly, until it landed on _him_ he didn't seem to have noticed me. Maybe I had entered too quietly, or just maybe he was ignoring me for that day? _He_ stood in front of the large mirror that was placed right in the middle of everything in his room. In front of his bed, and in between his dressers and shelves. His hair was wild, some of it was in his eyes, instead of how he usually had it back, and kept. It was unkept and it looked better, fitting his nature truly. He wore no shirt, his bare chest seemed to be glistening with what seemed like water. He had just gotten out of the shower, which explained his lack attire and form. He looked, peaceful almost. Like there never was a trace of that ruthless monster that seemed to always consume him during the day, and a masked phantom that came to me at night. 

He seems like a schizophrenic, almost!

I had kept my eyes locked on his form, just staring, until I took a shaky inhale, and that seemed to alert him, that I was there . . . watching. _He_ smiled at me, almost grinning, then beckoned me over next to him. I walked slowly, almost dreading that I would have to undertake the same rendezvous that happened basically every night.

Once I stood in front of him, he removed my shackled wrists, and ankles. Throwing them behind him. Sometimes he even used those to his pleasure. He stood up in front of me, his eyes scanning my features. All I could do was stare back at him. His eyes were so enchanting, they made you almost think that all the bad things that had happened to you or are happening will just go away. He smiled at me, as his face crept closer to mine, and one of his hands was placed on my torso, and made its way up underneath my shirt to cup one of my breasts. I took a shaky in hale breath in parting my lips which gave him just enough invitation for him that he devoured my mouth with his. Kissing me hungrily, with passion, his tongue slipping in, mixing with mine.

It's like a dance routine, and you know it so well. When he kisses me, it's all planned out. I know practically all his moves. I know when he wants it desperately. I know when he wants to go slow. I know it all. It's been done over and over, yet sometimes he always surprises me in the end.

_Cole_ is mysterious like that . . . 

I finally said his name, Cole. But I don't think he deserve's a name. Sometimes he does, sometimes, but he doesn't. It's all very confusing. But I know what's not confusing, when he wants me, I can feel it. And I knew he wanted me now.

Our lips never parted, he kept his firmly locked on mine, over and over thrusting his tongue deep inside my mouth. I was losing myself again, losing myself to him again. He backed me up to the bed, where I felt the silky satin brush against my pants. It always seems to slide across. There was no need in telling me to undress myself or pushing me onto the bed. I did everything as a routine, I pushed down my shirt that was even big enough to slip down my waist and onto the floor. My pants fell down with one shove. I wear no undergarments so there is no need for unhooking anything at all. As I did these things, Cole did what he had to do. Undress his own self, as he usually did. Which was only to remove the towel that was around his waist. 

We both fell onto the bed together, our lips still doing what they always did . . . 

All I can tell you is that, I only speak of this like it's boring, because it's the same as always. But it's not boring really. Even if it's the same, I knew he wanted it fast. That's why he didn't do with the caresses or anything else. 

He just pushed my thighs apart and entered me. Once he had done that, I could feel myself going with him. As he thrust into me, I moved my hips to the motion he was setting. I was completely out of my mind and somewhere else, somewhere else where I was screaming out _his_ name wanting him to do the things he did to me over and over. I wasn't myself anymore.

I was _his_. I am his . . . or so they say.

When he came, he thrust himself hard into me, roaring like a lion, but he kept moving, he wanted me to come as well. And I wasn't far behind. As I climaxed, I knew I totally lost myself completely. I wasn't the Phoebe that had rebelled against his cruelty, I wasn't the Phoebe who hated him. I wasn't the Phoebe who was confused most of the time. I wasn't Phoebe at all.

I was just there... I was _his_ Phoebe. I was, I am his _possession._

  


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Third Entry

  


I'd given up counting the days that I was locked in this cell. So that's why there's only those words, which I write there. I don't even know what today is. Only that it's morning, and I sit here waiting to be taken to the showers, and to be given my daily breakfast. I might be locked up and a slave, but they always gave me the best of food.

I guess it's because, they don't want the 'captor's' pet to die quickly. Hah. I'm already dead inside. Only when I'm with _him_ do I really feel there's something left. But sometimes I feel ashamed of myself and my behavior. Sometimes I'm not. It's very confusing to me.

  


_Your lost words whisper slowly, to me_

_Still can't find what keeps me here_

_But all this time I've felt so hollow, inside I know you're still there . . . _

  


Later

  


I am losing myself to him. I've just come back from our nightly rendevous. And now, that I think on it. I can't believe how I can feel so me, when I'm with him. I can't believe that when he brought me up to my breaking point that I actually felt somewhere in my heart that I might want to stay with him that I actually might . . . love him. 

Every time I'm with him, I can feel myself give in to his will, as if he controls me completely. His words echo in my head, constantly. All those words, those soon to be broken promises he tells me, and somewhere I believe he just might fulfil it _one day_.

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Entry Four

  


I've regained control of my life, I no longer feel like I need to be with him to be me. I can be Phoebe, and you want to know why? I think it was because of my sisters. They managed to come to see me, but unfortunately, they couldn't stay, they left in a hurry. But it was so good to see them. I hadn't seen them in months of my captivity. And when they showed it, it was just . . . a miracle. I couldn't believe my eyes that I had to blink several times, but they were there, and they were solid. 

We shared some experiences, and we cried. They told me they tried desperately to get me out, but _he_ wouldn't budge. They told me it was up to me, to get myself out. Now that we all know, he won't let me go willingly. 

To tell you the truth, this idea of getting myself out, has been done hundreds of times, with no success. I'm still trapped in her, aren't I? God dammit. If I could, I would get of here, but I can't. I don't want to go stay here at all. The frickin' bastard. Well, if he won't let me go willingly, just because he thinks I'll obey him now, he's got another thing coming. 

  


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Entry Five

  


The usual today . . . showered, ate, wrote, ate again. And now, I'm writing and thinking. I've got a plan, it might not be grand, but it's something. When I wrote in here, "if he won't let me go willingly, just because he thinks I'll obey him now, he's got another thing coming." I am not going to obey him as I always do. No matter what, I need to save myself, I need to just forget him, forget everything he promised. And only focus on all the negativity, it would help greatly for me to keep on track, and to not obey him. 

Tomorrow, that's when I strike. Tomorrow, when our little 'rendevous' happens. Whatever he does, I _must not_ give in. No matter how much his presence makes me feel so good, no matter how appealing he looks, no matter anything. _I_ _must keep on track_!


	2. Entries Six,Seven

  


[ A/N: Okay, major writers' block was happening to me, but I'm trying to over come it with this chapter of entries. If her 'plan' doesn't live up to your expectations, so sorry. I couldn't really think of anything for her to do. She's practically helpless. But thanks for all the reviews! You all made me smile! Just wanted to remind you all, this is an AU – So things might not seem as they should seem, ex: Cole treating her like this. (I might make a another story on Cole's POV to explain some of the hurt, and confusion from Phoebe.) And don't forget, he's a bit insane now. :X Anyway, I'm stalling so you all don't have to read this horrible chapter of entries! But I hope you all like it, anyhow. Don't forget to R/R! ]

  


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_Watching me, wanting me_

_I can feel you hold me down_

_Fearing you, loving you_

_I won't let you hold me down . . . _

  


Entry Six

  


I-I can't believe what just happened . . . yet I can. It's so confusing to me. I'M so confusing. I hardly make sense to myself anymore. That whole plan, well I must have been on crack, or just very confident. I guess I should explain to you what happened, when I saw, him, huh? Don't think I did anything great, because I didn't. I sort of backed out on it, or in other words I chickened out. But, not because I was _scared_. It was something else . . . something about him made me not want to leave him, not want to give him any more hurt. But that little inner voice told me, I shouldn't give in. I must fight back. But how could I fight back, when . . . I . . . love him? 

See now, something's wrong with me. How can I just fall in love with a demon, who's clearly only interested in me for my body, doesn't care for any of my feelings and treat's me like this? Especially some on the verge of being labeled insane. 

DAMMIT!

I hate this. I hate this feeling of confusion and hurt, yet sympathy and love. How can a person have so many emotions as I do, and stand it? . . . Every time I'm with him, I'm whole again. I don't feel that void in me, that's been building up ever since I came to this place. I feel secure in his arms, I feel loved when he kisses me, I feel alive when we make love. But he doesn't feel that does he? I'm just a concubine to his knowledge. A possession he can hold gently and easily break with one snap. 

. . . all of this making my head hurt even more. Thinking is just complicated now, I can't even sort out what I should do, I feel helpless. But now with him, never with him. 

I'll tell you about tonight in the next entry. I have no more energy to tell you want had happened. Good night my sweet diary.

  


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Entry Seven

  


It's morning now, and I feel a little be calmer and refreshed, and not as much as confused as I was yesterday night. Now I'll tell you want happened. 

They took me to see him again, and I was expecting to deliver my plan out on him with triumph. But once I entered his room, candles lit, a table to the side with two chairs, and plates set up with utensils. This was certainly odd to me, was he on a date with some demon woman? But then I saw him step from out of the shadows and into clear view. Smiling down upon me, wearing a tuxedo. Now, everything was getting really odd. He gave me a small kiss on the cheek, his lips lingering there for a second and then whispered into my ear, 

"You're dress, is on the bed." Pointing at the maroon colored dress, which held something of a graceful look to it. A cross between something a beautiful Greek Goddess would wear and yet without so many layers. 

My feet moved on auto, to the bed, running my hand up the fine clothing. I hadn't had anything so fine as that in a long time, and all I could do was stare at it in awe.

He chuckled at me, when he saw me just look at him dumbfounded, and then walked next to me, picking up the delicate dress.

"I was hoping you'd do me the honor and wear this for tonight. Unless, you wish to keep in those . . ." Cole's eyes scanned me up and down, a small smirk appearing on his face.

Finally coming to the conclusion that the whole table get up was for dinner, and since I hadn't had my dinner meal, it must have been for me. I was going to eat with him. That's a first, I had thought to myself. I looked myself over, then looked at the dress, and grabbed it out of his hand. 

"I thought so." He said, then turned around to give me a little privacy as I changed into the gown. This was also new to me. Why all of the sudden a change of mood? 

Once I had the gown on me, I discarded the useless clothing underneath the bed, and tried my best to fix my hair and appear, while looking in the mirror. Once satisfied, I walked over to the table, Cole pulling out a chair for me, and then tucking me neatly in. This was all bizarre for me. But I took it step by step. I still remember to execute my plan on him that I had to say on track. He was only probably doing this as a ploy to get on my good side. But Oh, I thought. He was working really well so far, to get on my good side. 

I have to say, the dinner was marvelous, I was so hungry, that when my eyes landed on all the juicy food, I felt that I might gobble up everything on my plate on his and whatever else came. But I restrained myself, and just ate everything given to me. I guess you can say that it was somewhat of a typical dinner date, food, little chit chat, and wine. 

Maybe, because of me having some of that wine, made me get side tracked and made me forget to continue the flow for my plan? Or was it something else? I know I didn't drink _that_ much to make me forget what I came there to really do. Not to indulge myself in conversation with him, not to laugh, flirt or even feel my own heart betray my own thoughts and fall love with him. I had never anticipated it, never. I thought it would be all like the other times I went there. But yesterday was different, I saw a different side of Cole. The Cole I fell in love with long ago, and that was slowly dying inside of the demon Cole who had taken over. 

I lost my heart, my body and my soul to him that night. Everything I thought I owned, was given to him. An uneven trade I say, because I didn't get much in return, just the glimpse of a man that I loved. When we made love, that's when I knew I had lost all those possessions and handed it to him on a golden platter. 

My plan wasn't to give him, not to satisfy him, not to love him, not to give my heart away, nor my soul. My body, was already far gone, but everything else I owned, was still mine. Something he couldn't take away, only given freely. And yet, I didn't do what I had planned. I did the exact opposite. I loved him for Christ sakes! And when I saw his eyes, when I looked deeply into them, I saw everything. I saw his suffering, his pain, his love, his anguish. A saw a man trapped and torn between one thing and another thing. Between love and hate. But that night, his good side won over, I saw it come alive within his eyes. I saw the loving man, and everything I wanted Cole to stay as. 

This man didn't use me as a concubine. I was as a wife to him, the love of his life. Everything that happened was out of the pure goodness (or what was left of it) of his heart, the love he shared for me. Nothing less. 

And I think that's what made me forget my mission, but as our night ended, that magical night gone. The real Cole I loved, slowly backed down inside, and that demon of Cole resurfaced. As I was taken back to my room, I was given new clothes, not ragged or old. But nice white, comfortable ones. 

Even now, that I think back on yesterday night. I know that it was probably the last time I would see the Cole I love. And this demon of Cole, which walks around, looking like him, talking like him, I will never believe to be as my other Cole. Even if sometimes he could make me forget, even if he sometimes makes me feel whole, and loved, the other Cole, the one that loves me, would do anything for me, never would hurt me like this, he makes me feel even better, even more alive than ever. I won't let demon-Cole hold me down, I will, and I promise I will get out of here, and vanquish his sorry ass. Or maybe . . . just the demon side of Cole . . . 

  


[TBC! Okay, that sucked. The plan wasn't _great_, but it was at least . . . something! Now, Review, please! And maybe I'll make the next chapter a bit better, hopefully. This brain cramp sucks. 

  


Songs listened to:

  


_Give Unto Me_ - Evanescence

_Anywhere_ - Evanescence

_Anything For You_ - Evanescence

_I Must Be Dreaming_ - Evanescence ]


	3. Entries Eight, Nine

Entry Eight

  


_Haunting me, I can smell you – Alive_

_Your heart pounding in my head . . . _

  


That night plays over and over in my head, behind my eyelids when I close them to rest, when my eyes are open, gazing around my room, and just for a mere second I can see it. I can see it materialize before me. Then disappear just as quickly as I conjured up the image. Call me crazy, but I miss him. Miss him, miss the _real_ Cole I loved and still love. My heart aches for him. It no longer comforts me, or satisfies me, whatever it did for me before, it no longer happens when I go to him each night.

Why?

Because it isn't him. It's the impersonator that is only interested in my body and no more, and I've probably spent most of my entries explaining about his behavior is toward me. Nothing but a concubine. 

It's still morning, and I'm hoping, hoping, wishing, dreaming, praying that tonight, I'll get to see, get to touch, view, talk to the Cole I love. That he'll resurface, and for another night, beat down that demon inside him. I hope so much, which I'm afraid I put too much hope into it, that my heart will break. I've so far been able to keep my heart in one piece, but tonight, if all else fails, if there is no hope, and it's the same thing, same torture to me, my heart will break. And I don't think I will survive this fatal blow in one piece, but come back shattered.

I hope so much . . . 

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Entry Nine

  


I feel utterly disgusted with myself. I gave myself too much confidence, gave _him_ too much hope, too much of my heart. I feel it had been smashed into a thousand pieces that I will have to gather up now, one by one, before it's too late, and I have no heart left.

Tonight was a waste. It was the very opposite of a dream. It was a nightmare. A disappointment. Tonight was every reason why I told myself, not to hope, not to dream. Because there was no hope, there never was. Every night when I went to sleep dreaming of seeing my love return to me, was all but that, a dream. Not reality.

When I went to him, I had a full heart that I would be able to see, my love, instead when I got there, it was only _him_. Not Cole, but _him_. I tried to see if I could get Cole to resurface, but it didn't happen. I talked to_ him_, tried to see if by doing this act would loosen things up.

However, when I brought my lips to his and whispered those three words. Those words I ached so badly to hear from his lips. To hear his voice call out my name proclaiming his love to me. And as I descended my lips toward him, he stopped me, placing all but two fingers on them, backing away slightly. 

"Don't" He whispered to me and that was all.

It moved onto being as it would have been, as it is each night. My tears where nothing as they slid down my cheeks. Cole wasn't there, never would be. And I am condemned to live a life as a possession.

  


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[A/N: Ah, I hope this was a pleasant chapter. =/ Can't say I really like it, but I had to update this fic! I am NOT abandoning it, even if I had a tendency to do that. I just had a major brain cramp, and since now I'm in school, hee, my brain is starting to work again! Plus, my muse has given me inspiration to write. :] Hope you've enjoyed! Now, REVIEW! Even if they're BAD reviews! Constructed criticism! (Hee, even though I would like nice reviews.) Sorry it took so long to update. Eep. ]


	4. Entries Ten & Eleven

Entry Ten

  


Tonight's another one of those plan nights. I haven't written in a real long time, but it wouldn't seem any different since my diary goes by entry numbers instead of the date of the day or month or year. Honestly I don't even know what day it is today, just that it's morning. (Since those puppets came in gave me my morning 'grub' although quite tasty, it looked revolting. And then took me for my daily shower. So fresh so clean.) To get to what I'm going to do. I'm going to do what I've been avoiding for days now. Instead of approaching him as the innocent Phoebe, since I am his personal 'puppet' I won't resist the pull of my strings. 

I won't be Phoebe anymore. 

I'm going to be, Phoebe, the puppet

  


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Entry Eleven

  


Victory at last. Whatever victory I can claim is a victory. As Phoebe the puppet, I succeeded in getting what I wanted from Cole. His knowledge of knowing I'm not going to live the way I am now. I won't be his puppet forever, and I won't let him pull my strings. Yesterday night, I showed him. Just by playing the puppet I was able to cut my strings. 

To make the story short, I was in every way not myself. I did not try to whisper my usual I love you's, nor did I try to persuade him to talk. Instead I headed the other direction, straight for sex. If that was all he wanted that was all he would get, forget all the little necessities of caresses and kisses. If he wanted sex, he'd get it. After all this wasn't making love. Just sex. And after we were done, I planned on dressing again and heading right back to my room and be over with it. See here, I thought I was just a toy for him anyway. I wasn't suppose to care, I wasn't suppose to feel, I'm not suppose to love,_ him_especially.

It must have been a shock to him, to watch me walk straight up to him, lust shining on my features and no more. I played his slave, gave him what he wanted, but the difference between _this_encounter yesterday night then any other nights, would be he never took it. I handed it on a silver platter, even with a cherry on top, and he refused. 

It was when I had started to unbutton his shirt with my teeth and slid my hand down his pants, he'd stopped me swiftly with his strong hands. One hand stopping the hand in his pants and other gripping my chin so strongly it forced me to look up into his eyes. The once dark greenish blueish eyes I use to see so often was now the light-green blue I had fallen in love with, in the beginning.

I knew I had won what I wanted to win, and he seemed clueless to what I was up to. I had to hold back the triumph smirk that began to spread across my face and pretend disappointment. He didn't let go of my chin, but held it more tenderly, his eyes searching mine and mine his. Maybe I had gotten through to him, not fully but I think I managed to grab the Cole I love from inside his hiding place. A sigh escaped his lips, and his eyes turned sorrowful. Still playing the fool, I raised my eyebrows at him, and leaned in to kiss him hungrily, but he stopped me, again.

"What's the matter?" I whispered to him, and I peered even closer into the depths of his light blue-green eyes. I must have really done something to wake him up inside to get him to act like this. 

He let out another sigh, and pushed me gently off of him, and covered his face with his hands, his middle finger and thumb massaging his temples. 

I tried again. 

I pulled his hands away from his face, and massaged it for him, but he flinched at my touch, as though I had scorched him. Now I was really surprised, but I wasn't trying to play the fool anymore. I knew I broke into that shell that kept my love captive, but this was different. He was breathing hard, panting almost. I wanted to know what was going in that mind of his. I wanted to know. I went again at him, but he looked up at me, his light eyes still shining. 

"Don't," he told me gruffly, "touch me. Just go, go back to your room."

I blinked dumbly at him, and then took a step backwards, but then I thought. Even if I was free tonight, and I had broken through to him, he stilled needed something more. I put that foot right back forward and bent my head down, my lips kissing him gently on top of his forehead. He flinched again, but it was better that I showed my love to him, even if it seemed to burn him to the touch. Then I retreated back to my room, gleefully. I had won, and I just know there are going to be many more victories ahead. One way or another.

Hopefully something productive comes out of what happened yesterday night. Just hopefully!

  


Later

  


Something weird is going on. The puppets are coming for me, right now. I know this for sure, because they're outside waiting for me to hurry up. I told them I need to tidy myself up, like I really have anything to tidy. _He_ wants to see me, right now. And from looking out the window it seems around dinner. Something is just not quite right...

  
  


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[ A/N: Sorry I took so long with this story. I really lost a lot of interest or well, I lost the whole point of the story, but then I found it again! So hurrah! I'm trying my best NOT to abandon this story, I have a really bad habit at leaving things unfinished because I get upset, (one. I feel I'm not doing it right, or two. It's just taking too long to do what I want to happen. Three. I like finishing stories in one night for some odd reason.) But here's another chapter, and I'm typing up the NEXT one after this one right now. So stay tuned. :) Lets hope my muse is still with me. If you want to send any suggestions, you can send it toJeezShuddap@yahoo.com with the subject "Suggestions for DOP" on it. It would be greatly appreciated. ;) ]

-Vivi

  


Songs Listened To:

  


Lover's Game - MÉtisse

Sousounde - MÉtisse

Sadness - MÉtisse 


	5. Midnight Continuation

_Watching me, Wanting me_

Midnight

Ever get that feeling when you know something isn't right in the world? Like when you're dreaming, even though it feels real, you know it's _not_? Yet, it feels so right, but you know it isn't? That's what I feel right now. I just can't grasp what it is. When those leeches of Coles' came for me earlier, and took me out of the room, they took me to another room. It was sort of rectangular, not like a squared room. And it held clothes, a whole lot of clothes in there. I wondered how I even fit inside. All of the clothes were hung up onto racks, which went zooming around the room for your own lazy needs. Like in the cleaners. There were two fitting rooms, but they were behind screens, and at least there was a seat to sit down in. I was just looking around in one of them, and came across a dress lain out. It was white and silky. A bit on the sheer side as well, but lovely in each way. The dress looked like it was chopped up by Edward Scissors Hands, but with a unique touch. I changed my clothes, and slipped this one over my head, the straps where thin and I hoped I didn't come across Edward, because one snip and the dress would fall apart. I felt good in it, it fit me just right, and while I went flaunting around and gloating at my prospect of new clothing, I noticed some white sandals nearby. Strapping them on almost up to my ankle, I looked _even_ better, felt even better about myself. Something I haven't felt in a while in those old clothes I wore around. Not to mention there was jewelry hanging out in the open. So curious of me, I took a hold of many and slipped on some bracelets, necklaces, rings, toe rings. Not too over the top, but enough to satisfy my gluttony.

Just after I finished applying all the things I found there and stop the big grin on my face, a woman appeared in the room. She was probably one of the puppets too. But this was the first time, I saw a woman puppet. Has Cole been seeking his pleasures with other women as well? When I saw her, a mixture of emotions entered me. I frowned at the sight of her, and thought about the question that was on the tip of my tongue. I was going to ask her, but then again it didn't seem appropriate. I'm not sure why I cared if he did, he is the big bad Cole Turner after all. And I'm just another concubine in his possession. But I have to confess, I did feel a twinge of jealousy, and heartbroken at that idea. 

When the woman came up to me, smiling ear to ear, her eyes sparkling as she looked at me. I forgot my accusation on her part and Coles. She carried a basket in her hand, filled with hair products and brushes plus combs. I blinked at her dumbly, and she just grinned, and pointed to my hair. Obviously she wasn't a woman of words, just pointing. And I knew then she came to do my hair. It was a bit on the tangle side, but it gave a mousy bed hair affect. I thought it was a nice look, but on the other hand she didn't, nor did Cole. Since he probably did send her. 

She sat me down onto the seat inside the fitting room, and began to brush my hair. She had hands like a mother brushing their daughter's hair, she was gentle, and I was grateful. I'm a bit tender headed. She twirled and styled and blew, and sprayed my hair into perfection. It wasn't up exactly and wasn't down all the way. It was different, exotic almost. She added one more touch to my features, red lip stick on my lips. Handing me a mirror, I saw my reflection. It was completely unbelievable. I haven't seen myself in a long time and especially dressed up like this. The shock of it almost knocked the air out of my lungs. I looked at her, and she was still grinning like she did before. Afterwards, she walked me toward the door, ushering me outside, where another tender seemed to be waiting for me. Even this tender looked happy when he saw me. A smile seemed to tug at the tender's lips. I wonder how long have these servants of Coles been without happiness in their lives?

Leading me to another room, the tender showed me inside and whispered so quietly I almost didn't catch what he said. I never knew they could even speak sometimes, all I got out of the regular ones were grunts, groans and ape like noises. The tender closed the door on me, and advised me earlier that I could sit anywhere and the _others_ would be in shortly. Well that was something new, there we're going to be others, and I never knew Cole had friends or associates outside of the mansion, that would be attending dinner, as it seemed to be a dinner service.

To describe the room, in all short it was breathtaking, something almost out of a fantasy romance book. The room held tables for only two people each, with a maroon curtain around all of them for privacy, except they were tied by a cord at the moment to let the couples in. The furniture was all made out of fine red wood, it seemed like a theme in the room. One color, but different shades of it, it gave the room an exotic look. The only source of light inside where the candles, their flames dancing about on the walls, reflecting off the enormous mirrors on the walls. I tiptoed to the table in the center of the room, only because it seemed that the room shouldn't be aloud with noise, not even a pin drop. Inside the curtain and sitting down on the comfortable chair, its cushion made of velvet, I surveyed the table in front of me. A rose was inside a circular glass vase of water, giving off its alluring scent, right in the middle of the table. The tablecloth underneath it, as I felt was made of red satin. I was amused for a while, as I thought about spilling wine, that possibly would be _red_ wine, since the tablecloth was of already red and how it wouldn't really ruin the tablecloth at all, but maybe there would be a big wet blotch there instead. 

I was gazing into the firelight reflecting in the enormous mirror on the wall, when the first guests arrived. They were conversing with each other when they had entered, and went straight over to the seat near the mirror. A second couple came in after them, filling in the next closets table, and then another. The pattern continued until I thought that would be enough, there clearly where no more seats, but I was wrong, more came in and there seem to be more tables for them, that I hadn't noticed. The most curious thing about all the couples, they wore black. As though it was a funeral, no other hint of color on any of them, except the drowning black that was everywhere. While, I, in the white stood out against them. 

There were low whispers among them all, like a hum of voices together at once. They all drew their curtains around their tables, but I was able to see their eyes piercing through them, as they occasionally glanced at me, or the men giving a wink in my direction. We we're all inside, and the flood of the black clothed men and women stopped, only my table seemed to be waiting for that last person, and I knew who just it was.

Cole–

  


* * *

  


_I can feel you pull me down_

Continuation

I never got to finish, once I had written that word down, he had appeared. Him appearing to me, so quietly, so gently, so stealthy, might I add, shocked me and made me stop in mid-sentence. I really do hate how I stop so frequently in mid-sentence, and have to still explain what had happened, but I feel it's my duty to write my experiences within this cage, to someone, even if this 'someone' isn't anyone, but just an object. Like me, just an object.

He came, standing against the wall of my room, his face was hidden in the darkness of the corner, but the moonlight coming from the window cascaded down his body. It was clothed, thankfully, but he was dressed not in his usual black suit, more casual. That was something different, I hadn't seen him wear casual clothes since . . . before. I could feel his eye's bore into my soul. My body didn't stand a chance against those eyes of his. As if predator and prey, I the prey of course, he the predator, I stood there motionless, watching while he calculated a plan on ensnaring his prize. I watched, he watched, my eyes traveled from the point of his neck, where his grey turtleneck met, and went down his torso, changing to where his black pants met. I raised my eyebrows at him. It was impressive, different and still altogether quite shocking. For him, it was a signal to swoop down and capture what he was there for. 

As quietly as he had come, he stalked me quietly as I backed away from him, afraid of what I might realize all too soon. But his haunting green-blue eyes still alive with fire, seemed to smother me to no end, until I would give up the fight and let go. But I was a fighter, I am a fighter, there would be no other way for me to go. I stopped right before my shoulder blades collided with the cold wall, and stalked right into him, daring him to come closer to me. But it seemed I was playing right into his trap, or so it seemed _his_ trap. Not surprised at all from my behavior, he wrapped his arms around me, lifting me up on the balls of my feet, much stronger than I, he could if he wanted, snap me in two.

We were by the window in my room in no time. The window was open and the night air rushed in, just _great_ for the moment. We were heated. The blood in our veins was boiling, rushing through our bodies to our heads. Coles hands set me on fire, scorched my skin deep into my soul. My head was bent to the side as he laid hungry kisses along my neck and collar bone. The moment was perfect, but that intense moment was forgotten all too quickly. The moonlight poured down on us, the wind blew at our heated bodies. It was then, the wind, the moonlight that knocked some sense into me. 

Everything he had done to me in the past, rushed into my head. Sounds, images, emotions all whispering to me, taunting me, haunting me, reminding me, what he had done. He hadn't realized my anguish, my pain, my suffering, and it was all for him. I grounded my teeth together, as my eyes landed back on the man who was ripping the shirt I wore open. I watched him hypnotically. My actions were far apart from my thoughts. They were still occupied with another rush of remembrance, especially the memory of yesterday night. The one I didn't get to finish about, but I will now. 

Imagine, that you are me. Waiting, while side way glances, gestures and stares are directed toward you, and the host. The one that has just arrived, garbed in his custom black, with a dab of red, the red carnation in his chest pocket. Making him and you the center of attention. Everyone stands as he walks leisurely toward your table, and not wanting to seem the odd ball out, you stand up yourself. Once he reaches your table, he pulls out your chair, just like any gentleman should. It's the cue for everyone else to sit, and enjoy their meal as puppets, servants, whatever you would like to call them, come pouring out bearing trays of food and drinks. Both of you are seated now, and his eyes are lighted up, they're looking directly into your eyes, making you blush a couple of shades red. It doesn't make sense to you. None of this makes sense. But you tell yourself, when has it made sense? 

A waiter comes and pours both of you a glass of red wine, Cole, the man you happen to be dining with, raises his glass in the air as a salute to you, and brings it to his lips. The rest of the company raises their glasses to you in salute, bringing it to their lips and seem to wait, all staring intently at Cole, who is still looking at you. He drinks the wine and finishes it off, the rest then drink as well. As I told you before, it all doesn't make sense. But you just smile, and nervously bite your lip, and take your own wine glass in your hand and drink from it quickly. 

Most of the dinner time, Cole is either staring intently at you, or eating, he and you make the smallest conversations in both of your lifetimes. All you hear around you is the low murmur of the other guests talking amongst themselves, and it seems they've already forgotten Cole and you. 

Suddenly dinner time is over, the guests leave, all giving a curt nod or bow of the head in your direction, and the candle lights seem to dim down even more. You've had quite a bit of wine, so has he, and you both have been left to your own devices. The silence in the air is making you uncomfortable, so you start up conversation. Now that you got him talking, it seems that the days, weeks and months of estrangement have dissipated into the air. You laugh, you joke, you rethink everything you thought negative about him. Next his hand is on yours, you hold his hand reassuringly, and then he rises, bringing you up from your seat to follow him out of the room, and toward his own.

When you arrive at his room, he shuts the door and you watch him through the corner of your eye as he locks it. You know you're going to be there for the night, but you question yourself, do you really want to? He slides the lock into his pocket, and starts to undo the tie at his neck. While you sit gingerly at the edge of his bed, wondering if he thinks, that you think, that you'll be sleeping with him tonight, just because he's seemed to change into a new man. A smile that the devil himself must have used to seduce women, was splayed on his lips, as he removed the jacket and started to unbutton the black shirt. You force a smile onto your face, as you wait and watch his movements. You remember when both of you were talking before, as though none of the past events had ever taken place, and the smile that you forced is no longer there. But a grin. He's down to the last button, and you beckon him to come closer to you as you look up into his eyes. His eyes which always gave away whether it was the imposter of Cole or the real man himself. They held the man, who you loved, and whether it was a trick or not, whether this man whom you _would_ sleep with tonight was genuine or not, you knew that sometimes the only way to keep the person you loved would be to give them your soul. 

That night, you made love in which it seems it has been centuries since you have before. His arm is wrapped around you tenderly, while your fingers are entwined in his dark hair. Your eyes are closed, and he thinks you asleep, but you're not. The man in bed with you, is staring off into space, his attention drawn to something behind you. Opening your eyes you squint, taking a peep at his godly stature and a smile comes to your face, you feel reassured, but once your peeping eyes fix on his own eyes, you notice they're not as they were before. Maybe it was the wine that made you think differently earlier, maybe it's a mind trick of your own now, but his eyes are dark, darker than you've ever seen before. An alarm sounds in your head, the man in bed with you isn't you're beloved Cole, but the man you never wanted to see again, the man you've been trying to be rid of since you could. Your heart begins to beat rapidly, and you close your eyes as silent tears slip out of them, and onto the bed sheet. 

You haven't been asleep for too long, when you wake up, your eyes are the only thing that moves, you look at the man sleeping beside you, his chest is moving up and down in soothing rhythms. Is he asleep? Is he still awake? These questions are the only two things on your mind, but you feel he has to be asleep now. Wanting to be cautious, you wait a few more minutes before you incline your head up at him and you find him sound asleep. Taking your time trying to make it out of the bed without waking him up, you wind your way out of the sheets covering you both, and the comforter at the bottom of the bed threatening to trip you. Once you make it out, that comforter in a defeated pile at the bed, you tip toe over to Cole's pants, where you remember he had placed the key that had locked the door. You slip a hand inside, pull the key out noiselessly, and creep to the door, sticking the key in you wait, wondering if any guards are outside or whether Cole had gotten up. Quickly turning the key you hear it click, silently as a mouse you slip out of the room. As your bare feet touch the cold tile floor, you close the door behind you as quietly as you can.

[A/N: I know this took me forever and a day to get out, but I feel I need perfection with my work, which is stressing and I know my work isn't perfect but I'm satisfied with it. I hope you all liked it, and thank you very much to my very good fan/reviewer whose emails have been helping me greatly to want to continue this story, and I'll be working on the ending very soon now. Thanks for all your help, Marijana Budak. It was greatly appreciated! If anyone else would like to send suggestions, you can at JeezShuddap@yahoo.com, with the title subject "Suggestions for DOP." Please R/R. :) ]

  



	6. Entry Twelve

_Saving me, Raping me_

Entry Twelve

I awoke before sunrise and watched as the sky turned from dark misty midnight blue to a navy, an intriguing purple with just a dash of pink. The blazing golden yellow sun, climbing up the ladder, higher into the sky, illuminating it from it's once painters' pallette to the brilliant light blue that everyone wishes for every day. Some say the sky is just perfect cloudlessly, so they can see the birds flying into the air with nothing surrounding them, nothing to dodge. Just clear skies ahead. Yet, I disagree, the clouds remind me of all the hardships I've had to overcome to obtain freedom, (some might say otherwise) . . . oh who am I fooling? The clouds symbolize every obstacle that I had to tackle, and _still_ to this day forward. But they also hold secrets, dreams, hopes, wishes, memories, happiness inside their fluffiness, that they're not white clouds, but yellow, orange, gray and so on. They represent everything and everyone, and today they're there too. I can't help smiling, and believing that maybe in the long run, things will be better. 

I don't know what will happen. I'm laying on my stomach looking out the window, writing down here, about the future. And I don't know. All the power of premonitions and I can't even see what I'll be doing the next hour. Or, maybe that's the point? I'm not supposed to know, yet . . . ? Well, even without my power, I know this is going to be a long day, especially with that charade I pulled last night, Cole might be wondering what's going on in this head of mine. I would like to know myself. Oh, and here comes the morning 'grub' . . . 

  


* * *

Afternoon

Nothing has happened to me so far. There hasn't been an investigation on my disappearing trick yesterday night nor an interrogation from Cole on my part. Can't say I'm exactly pleased. I do want to see him, yet I don't. I'm afraid of what I might encounter. I'm afraid of whom or what that man will be once I step back into his light. Lately, I've been feeling nauseous every time I'm around him. I don't know why, I just do. Sometimes I wonder about all these nightly visits . . . that can't be healthy.

But never mind about that. The puppets are here to take me to the showers. I need a good bath.

  


* * *

Evening

On my way to the showers, it seemed some of Cole's guests had an overnight stay. As the puppets lead me toward the all familiar shower room, the business men abruptly stopped their meeting and turned their eyes to favor upon me. I don't know what it is with demons and evil people alike, but the darkness the shadows are always cast over them, giving them even more an eerie glow, and in such a lighted hallway with their darkness blending in, their eeriness deepened. As their eyes stayed rooted to me, the closest one seems to be the leader in my eyes, because the other two men that happened to be with him, they retreated as he lingered on. Feeling uncomfortable, I took the other route and ignored the man, about to push the shower door and walk right in. 

I've seen and vanquished so many demons before, this one was no different to me. However, as I put my hand out to push open the door, his hand grabbed my wrist swiftly with horrifying strength I thought he would snap it. The grip he had one my wrist was painful, and I winced as he twisted it slightly to show his superiority over me. Against a Charmed one, one of the powerful good witches. Especially since now I am a Charmed One that happens to be a slave. I've entered even lower in society. A society, which is governed by the evil, ruled with evil, seen with evil. Everything and everyone are evil, demons, warlocks, witches and even mortals. The world was corrupted, my Cole has split personalities, he's powerful and probably even more so than that man who grabbed my wrist. Those who did not succumb to the evil in the world were either two. One, dead. Two, slaves, like me. But my sisters, the only ones that I know of that are mortal and witches that are not owned, are not dead and are good. Considering that I am a slave and he knows it. I had insulted him with my quick getaway on entering the shower room and not showing him any type of authority over me or respect.

Slaves can be commanded by anyone, used by anyone, anything can be done to them. I feel our world is falling back into the past, where we were property, yet now we're replaceable if say, one of the higher leveled demons 'accidently' killed us or damaged us in some way. 

I felt his grip tightening as I stood there looking at him, his face full of anger and resentment. I knew he wanted me to bow my head at him, but I wouldn't lower myself to someone like him. 

"For Cole's personal slave, you've no manners at all." He drawled. He had an English accent, and said all like _tall_. So he knew, that I was Cole's personal slave, his favorite, that Cole pulled all the strings on me. I stared hard at him, unblinking, I wanted to see where he was going with this. His grip on my wrist loosened but it made no difference because I still couldn't take it out of his grasp. I carry the red mark he made on my skin since that encounter earlier. His other hand pushed me up against the shower room door, it didn't open as I leaned against it which I knew was he using his power to control the door. I looked out the corner of my eyes and notice the puppets had fled. What a great time to leave someone actually in distress, now I knew it was up to me to get out of the mess. I looked at him firmly, and scrutinized his appearance, as his face was in the artificial light now that came down from the ceiling above us, and since it was much closer to mine than it was a minute ago.

"Cats got your tongue, love?" He asked, lifting one of his pale hands up to my chin and running his thumb across it, then grabbed it hard, pulling it even closer to his own face that I could smell his expensive cologne. 

"No manners at all . . . " again he said to me, as though I was a mentally challenged eight year old. "Maybe I should teach you some, eh, love?" 

He slammed my wrist, up against the door, and used his body to back me up that I was having even a hard time breathing due to the lack of space between him and myself. Lowering his face to mine, I knew what he was going to do, like any other demon out there, what they all do when they come across a pretty slave all alone. I turned my head so that his mouth clashed with my cheek, he didn't seem to mind. He just opened his mouth to bite my cheekbone which took me by surprise and made me turn my head and center it at him. That was when he struck again but captured my mouth. I struggled against him, and tried to bite his tongue, but didn't succeed in any of that, the last thing that came to my mind was to do the one thing that we women could only do. I brought my knee up with enough force that I thought I shattered his manhood in two. He crumbled onto the floor holding that tender spot, spewing off curse words. I was about to kick him in the ribs, when a shadow fell over me, stopping me dead in my tracks.

The guest on the floor began to wither in agony, the pain he was suffering reflected in his shocking light-blue eyes that stared right at me, but really at what was behind me. I winced as I heard his groans and moans turn into agonizing screams that could rupture anyone's ear drums. I clapped my hands over my ears and backed away, bumping right into the man inducing the pain into the helpless rag doll of a man on the floor. My hands left my ears and I took a look up at Cole, his face his body it was all passive, but I knew the source of pain, anguish, jealousy, hurt would be in those eyes of his. And that's where I found it all, I looked away immediately as I realized what he could be feeling, what could be happening in that mind of his. Memories and incidents, flashing on and off in his mind. 

I had never seen that look in his eyes, the look of murder, revenge, hate, of rage. He looked so savage at that moment, I cringed as my stomach churned. I know he was doing it for me. But that way he did it . . . it was not exactly the violence that seeped out of him, but the way he induced it into the guest on the floor. The way he stood there silently and gracefully, squeezing his fist as though he was bringing back the feeling in it because it fell asleep. His body held a natural stature, it didn't droop, it didn't stand erect, it had a leaning look to it even if he wasn't leaning on anything. 

I wanted to dig a hole and crawl in there as the scene I was witnessing grew gruesome. I kneeled on the floor, my hands flew back over my ears, but that didn't keep out the screams that echoed in my head, I looked at Cole's hand. It gradually closed into a fist and opened again to repeat the process. I watched the man laid in a pool of his own blood, long deep cuts form across his face, along his arms and leg, his clothes were soaked in blood. I never saw a power as this, it could be so horrible, so dark and meaningful, it was something that I've never seen a demon possess before. It didn't even look like a power. More like some unseen force or person ripping this man apart right on the floor. With one more final deep cut along the man's neck he was gone. His screams stopped abruptly from the unseen coming of the cut there, his body laid still, lifeless when only minutes ago he had me up by those hands of his against the wall. 

I took a peek at Cole, his hands were gathered in fists, then he circled his shoulders, stretching. Slowly he turned around to me, a look of satisfaction was smeared on his face, he open his hand up and put it out waiting for me to receive it. I flinched when I saw him move, what I just saw still played in my mind, but for him, it seemed like all in a day's work. He saw my flinch, and closed his hand into another tight fist, his face changing into a grimace at my sudden fear toward him. I breathed deeply, and he _bowed_ to me, then in a low whisper told me, "No one should _ever _treat you less, even _me_." Still, in his bowing position he shimmered out. 

I shivered and knocked open the shower door. I needed to get rid of the horror I saw on the floor, but as I walked and stole another look at the floor where the man laid it was gone, the mess, the man himself. The floor was sparkling clean, as though nothing ever happened. But it did happen, and Cole treated it as nothing. My fear ran deep, if he could treat that as nothing, the thought of me crossing the line over into Cole's hate, I know I would never survive an attack from him. I knew now I didn't anticipate seeing him tonight, I didn't want to see him for a long time, even if he did _save _me from that man. The thought of Cole made my stomach lurch, I wanted to throw up, I wanted to get as far away from those mystical haunting eyes that lurked, embedded in my mind.


End file.
